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#86899 - 11/05/13 02:56 AM I won't play you the blues

Blacklovedq Offline

Registered: 06/27/09
Posts: 5
I wear clothes that go
from my neck to my ankles
To cover up my pain
from invisible cuts..yea unhealed feelings
And you call it conservative
It must be working bc my screams of helplessness, no one ever heard of it

always the one never noticed
But always called upon bc im reliable
I feel empty as if I have nothing
But i am constantly praised for being pliable

You need money I will find it
You don't have a ride Let me know
I am down to my last dollar
But I will starve I just won't let you know

I mold myself for your happiness
I welcome it, if i can just get your smile
I subconsciously put pressure on myself to please you
I plan my day to make yours worthwhile

I stand quiet in a crowd
This is working for me
Bc my screams I hear aloud
to you they must not be...

Smile Amanda they won't know what's wrong
If I'm not perfect something is not right
I hold it inside bc "cry me a river" is not a great song
So I keep my pain out of mind, out of sight !

I need to be needed
That's why my boyfriends are like childREN
I will be your crutch,
In reality I'm straight but I think Too much i Bend

I admit Inside im breaking
I might actually need some help
But in abundance i have these smiles I'm faking
For you. So I can't make a worried one for -self

I have skeletons in my closet
I don't want you to choke on these bones
But I think it's time to release them
I can't chew them on my own

I use the same knees I bow on so some guy can receive satisfaction
I don't really care about him
I can't explain to you the attraction

But it's the only time I drift away
into a dreamworld..reality definitely sucks
basking in the sub of my mind. though I'm actually laying on a bed getting fucked

Not bc it feels so good to me but bc it's the lowest I can feel..
And when you are at your lowest you see how high you can climb
I'm not in the right frame of mind
This upside down perspective to me is real

Let me put back on my clothes
Now I can close my thighs
I can forget all the things
and I lay there thinking
What makes me so messed up and I can't realize

Maybe if I talked about it
If I had someone to donate an ear to listen
I would not have to lose myself
In sex, it's my prescription

Self medicated and self abandoned
I always wanted to reach my dreams
But someone how I've crash landed
LoSt in this world, covering my eyes in shame. Not bc in them the sun beams

Believe me I know I am loved
But I don't know what I live for
Other than making you happy
So I will dance and twirl on these strings for you
Until my feet are drenched in blood

Happiness is what I wished for
So I make sure that you have it first
I will try to be more perfect and smile harder
Just like I have rehearsed

#86907 - 11/11/13 06:32 PM Re: I won't play you the blues [Re: Blacklovedq]

jflysince85 Offline

Registered: 11/11/13
Posts: 5
Loc: Las Vegas, NV
No need to speak
We can sit here in silence
Not here to ravage your presents
Cause any gift you give is a special kind of kindness
So I'm careful not to take advantage
You feel you can hide in those fake smiles?
But the hell of which you speak is clear from this vantage
And if you've set traps
I'll tear down every one just to
Let you begin the long road to healing with me
I'll bend my ear even if all I hear is your heart beat
Don't feel like you have to please
No need to speak
We can sit here in silence...

#87050 - 08/21/17 04:44 PM Re: I won't play you the blues [Re: jflysince85]

Blacklovedq Offline

Registered: 06/27/09
Posts: 5
Sorry I just figured out my password

#87060 - 11/08/17 04:17 PM Re: I won't play you the blues [Re: Blacklovedq]

JasLee Offline
Ol' Skool

Registered: 11/07/08
Posts: 1204
Loc: Bronx, NY
This seems more like a vent rather than a poem.

The emotion was there, but the structure and delicate language that transforms a normal thought into a poem was lacking. I fell off somewhere in the middle of this. I think if you work on it, it could be great.

Black Roses
Ladies Lounge


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