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#74472 - 03/08/10 11:18 PM Hope
PoetixTxg Offline
Newbie
Registered: 02/26/10
Posts: 2
It's my first poem on here....

Ever feel like the ocean has swept you away gently, stealing all your energy
And using it to keep the tides momentum going?
The ocean currents are potent and you are weak.
The same routine everyday and still you’re drained.
Not even the strongest coffee can appeal to the taste of this reality you find yourself living.
Toxic fumes invade clear views.
Hope wilts when it once bloomed.
You stand on the outside watching the tides as the motions become stronger than even you …
Strong enough to make them feel like they are gravitating toward you, on a mission to
Steal you away from this world you were born into.
Tears fall from clouds eyes, wishing every dream the world had will
Come back alive.
Hope replenished the hearts of those that could no longer attest
The feeling of love they once possessed, due to another blow to the chest.
It sparked the mind of vibrant lives and carried the weight of the world on just one man.
As he made his way to the top of the nation saying “YES WE CAN”.
Simpler times disrupt complex minds as they are now nothing but a distant memory.
When faith was all that was needed to keep society going and no one stressed about the
Means of making money.
Still you reflect on all that it was instead of all that it is, because all of a sudden life is no longer comical
It’s Reasonable, yet things happen and you find yourself asking what’s the reason?
The reason has lost its explanation and you have gained sight of a new destination.
After stumbling upon heartache the exhaustion has ended and the path is now clear to me.
The roles are reversed….. WE are potent and the tides are weak.
Walking with a clear heart as the nation works towards restoration and future
That won’t be forever bleak.
Shine that new light of hope on me.
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#74527 - 03/09/10 12:03 PM Re: Hope [Re: PoetixTxg]
SULTAN Offline
GAME
Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 66
Strong enough to make them feel like they are gravitating toward you, on a mission to
Steal you away from this world you were born into.
Tears fall from clouds eyes, wishing every dream the world had will

kind of lost me there. it would have flowed better if you would have been consistent in the metaphor. subject matter was a little obtuse. emotion was also a little lacking. good frame though, just fix it up a bit.
_________________________
Originally Posted By: unkown
Calli: i do live alone, Abi comes over and cooks like twice a week
The Walrus: u probably eat out the rest of those days


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#74924 - 03/12/10 03:08 PM Re: Hope [Re: SULTAN]
qwarterzone Offline
Veteran
Registered: 04/09/09
Posts: 266
Loc: Oregon
I liked this, it had a nice vibe to it
otherwise the structure threw me off
the thoughts was there, but they seemed to rattle around each other
very nice tho'! keep writing!
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