I close my eyes.
Here I lay thinking of you.
I smile as I remember yours.
I turn and hug my pillow.
Imagining your body against mine.
I take a deep breath and remember the scent of
Being home, happily in love.
Safe and secure.

I open my eyes.
Take another deep breath, thinking....
Do you know how much you mean to me?
The way you look at me.
The best of times are with you next to me.
I will be here when you come home to me.
I smile again.
I remember how much Iam Thought of, loved and missed.

Another night I can fall asleep,
Deeper and deeper in love with you.

im thinking that you a fledgling poet so you are off to a good start.

be careful with cliches. try to figure out new ways on how to say things. if not you are you left with what seems to be just a letter jotted down without much artistic license.

this is poetry. have fun with it. explore new ways on how to express the calm, the joy, the comfort of that love.

keep working.

I AGREE WITH RERE...........THIS HAS SOME POTENTIAL, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T GET COMFORTABLE WITH PIECES LIKE THIS YOU WILL BE GOOD.

NOTHING REALLY STOOD OUT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME ITS NOT TERIBBLE EITHER.

The tone of this piece actually read, imo, like a step by step list of your morning routine. I'm not sure why that is, maybe it's the lack of smooth transitions between some lines and stanzas.
Like here ....


^fill those lines with some similes, metaphors, imagery, etc.

The concept is there, you got the idea of good emotion.
Keep at it.

Agreed with what everyone else has already said.

I think one of the easiest ways you can push this to the next level (and get rid of that 'play by play' sound of your lines) is by removing most, if not all, of the I's in the lines. Push yourself to find different ways of saying the same thing, but without listing it as "I did this I did that"

For example:



Eyes close as thoughts
drift to images of you.
Your smile remembered,
it's memory echoes within my own


Line by line, take your thoughts and try to make them as visual as you can... show the reader what you want to convey, don't tell us.

Welcome to the board... hope you'll stick around and grow with us!

though this did not blow me away, I enjoyed it.

it did read kind of step by step, but sometimes that is how love is. sometimes you have to do routine things to maintain that sentiment, which is how your took your piece.

and that is felt.

can you expand on this? of course, but from reading the title, and then reading the poem itself, for me it kind of did it's job.

continue to write, friend.